Learning About Attaining Stress Relief Through Counseling

3 Alternatives To Nagging Your Spouse

In many marriages, one person will often play the role of the nagger, constantly harping on his or her spouse about things that are bothersome. This dynamic is difficult for both parties; the person being nagged likely doesn't appreciate it, while the person doing the nagging may feel resentful that he or she has to play this role. 

If nagging is an issue in your relationship, counseling can be an asset. Should you be the one doing the nagging, you'll also want to work hard at stopping this behavior. Here are some alternatives that you can try.

1. Ignore The Issue

Often, ignoring the issue about which you feel compelled to nag your spouse can rectify it. For example, if you frequently get frustrated about the disorganized fashion that your spouse keeps his or her home office because it's difficult for you to clean, you may constantly be telling him or her to clean the space. 

As a passive-aggressive answer to your nagging, your spouse may deliberately leave the home office messy. If you stop nagging, your spouse may appreciate that you're giving him or her a bit of space, and may then feel encouraged to do more to keep the home office tidy.

2. Express What You Feel

While it can be easy to nag your spouse about anything that bothers you, doing so can often lead to an argument and may not actually rectify anything in the future. In the above example about the home office, set some time aside to talk to your spouse about why this issue bothers you. 

For example, you might say that when you're trying to dust and vacuum the room every week, the surplus of things placed on every surface makes it difficult to dust the room, while the lack of free floor space means that you cannot easily pass the vacuum around. Tell your spouse how this scenario makes you frustrated because you cannot do the job properly. Many people will respond positively with a better understanding their spouse's feelings.

3. Accept The Situation

Yet another way to handle an urge to nag your spouse is to simply accept the situation. For example, you may not be thrilled with the cleanliness of your spouse's home office, but you may be able to see that this is the way he or she is and that you nagging will only get you worked up but not necessarily lead to any results. Accepting the way things are can be a response that works well for some people.

Contact a counselor like Tim Robbins Counseling for more information and assistance.